Working vs. Stay-At-Home Moms.
This subject came to me the other day, I don't know why I haven't thought of writing about it before. But I know it's a subject that's been well discussed in the media, magazines, and among friends.
For those of you who've read my other entries...you'd know that I'm a stay-at-home (aka "household engineer") Mom with 3 wonderful, feisty, rambunctious, and loveable kids.
Tyler is 5 going on 40. Trent is 3 and still in the terrible 2 stage. Sophia, my lovely princess, just turned 1! I've been a stay-at-home Mom for six years now.
With the support of a wonderful and understanding husband, the decision was easy for me since I was tired of Corporate America and wanted to try something new.
But at the same time...we could afford to live on one salary (with lots of sacrifices, we all know how I love a bargain in Bargain shopping is an art form). I don't regret the decision to give up my professional career to dedicate myself to my children and husband (by default *devilish grin*) at all.
There's been alot of discussion about the pros and cons of working vs. stay-at-home Moms. And also some stigmas that comes with both "professions". I'd like to share some points-of-view of a stay-at-home Mom and hopefully it will either demystify what we, stay-at-home Moms, do on a daily basis or it will serve as a validation to all you stay-at-home Moms out there.
I have two sisters who are working Moms and they have told me time and time again that they cannot do what I do. And I'd say the same to them, I don't know how they have the time after work, to take care of the kids and do household chores with their busy schedules.
I think we, as a society, need to stop beating this horse to death. There is no right or wrong answer as to which "profession" is best for your own family, only YOU and your husband can decide that! And to say that one "profession" is more important than the other is just plain stupid and wrong!
We need to start educating our own children, when they are young, that stay-at-home Mom is a job just like any other jobs. My Tyler asked me the other day that "how come you don't go to work like Daddy?" My reply to him was "Mommy does work but Mommy works at home!"
If your child asks you "how come you can't stay home like so-and-so's Mom?" Would you know what to tell him or her? I would tell him/her that "Mommy works in a different office than so-and-so's Mom. His/her Mom doesn't just stay home...she works at home." This will definitely help them understand that not one job is more important than the other. And that it's very important that we all work, either outside or inside the home.
If we were to exchange hats for a day, I think we would really learn alot from each other. For those of you who think that we, stay-at-home Moms, sit around the house all day, watch Oprah and eat bonbons...well, I say "you're welcome to try on my shoes any day!"
To me, the one main difference between working and stay-at-home Moms is that you working Moms get to interact with people your own size, adults, and we stay-at-home Moms deal with the little people day in and day out, 24/7! But then again, some people I've worked with acted like the little people themselves. 
That was what I was missing at the beginning of my "stay-at-home" career. But I joined a Mothers' playgroup and it was a blessing for my sanity!!
If you want statistical data, I don't have any to offer. Just my own perspective that we are all mothers who try to do the best we can with what we know. And we should all congratulate each other for our accomplishments...our healthy and happy pride and joy, our children!!
Happy mothering!
This subject came to me the other day, I don't know why I haven't thought of writing about it before. But I know it's a subject that's been well discussed in the media, magazines, and among friends.
For those of you who've read my other entries...you'd know that I'm a stay-at-home (aka "household engineer") Mom with 3 wonderful, feisty, rambunctious, and loveable kids.
Tyler is 5 going on 40. Trent is 3 and still in the terrible 2 stage. Sophia, my lovely princess, just turned 1! I've been a stay-at-home Mom for six years now.
With the support of a wonderful and understanding husband, the decision was easy for me since I was tired of Corporate America and wanted to try something new.
But at the same time...we could afford to live on one salary (with lots of sacrifices, we all know how I love a bargain in Bargain shopping is an art form). I don't regret the decision to give up my professional career to dedicate myself to my children and husband (by default *devilish grin*) at all.
There's been alot of discussion about the pros and cons of working vs. stay-at-home Moms. And also some stigmas that comes with both "professions". I'd like to share some points-of-view of a stay-at-home Mom and hopefully it will either demystify what we, stay-at-home Moms, do on a daily basis or it will serve as a validation to all you stay-at-home Moms out there.
I have two sisters who are working Moms and they have told me time and time again that they cannot do what I do. And I'd say the same to them, I don't know how they have the time after work, to take care of the kids and do household chores with their busy schedules.
I think we, as a society, need to stop beating this horse to death. There is no right or wrong answer as to which "profession" is best for your own family, only YOU and your husband can decide that! And to say that one "profession" is more important than the other is just plain stupid and wrong!
We need to start educating our own children, when they are young, that stay-at-home Mom is a job just like any other jobs. My Tyler asked me the other day that "how come you don't go to work like Daddy?" My reply to him was "Mommy does work but Mommy works at home!"
If your child asks you "how come you can't stay home like so-and-so's Mom?" Would you know what to tell him or her? I would tell him/her that "Mommy works in a different office than so-and-so's Mom. His/her Mom doesn't just stay home...she works at home." This will definitely help them understand that not one job is more important than the other. And that it's very important that we all work, either outside or inside the home.
If we were to exchange hats for a day, I think we would really learn alot from each other. For those of you who think that we, stay-at-home Moms, sit around the house all day, watch Oprah and eat bonbons...well, I say "you're welcome to try on my shoes any day!"
To me, the one main difference between working and stay-at-home Moms is that you working Moms get to interact with people your own size, adults, and we stay-at-home Moms deal with the little people day in and day out, 24/7! But then again, some people I've worked with acted like the little people themselves.
That was what I was missing at the beginning of my "stay-at-home" career. But I joined a Mothers' playgroup and it was a blessing for my sanity!!
If you want statistical data, I don't have any to offer. Just my own perspective that we are all mothers who try to do the best we can with what we know. And we should all congratulate each other for our accomplishments...our healthy and happy pride and joy, our children!!
Happy mothering!
Hey there,
I’m a stay at home mom with four children, the oldest is currently in Jr.Kindergarten but the rest are at home. I completely agree with you but I find that most people who have never been at home just don’t understand … at all. I have had people assume that there must be something “wrong” with me because I stay at home. Was I not cut out for the work force? Not educated? Not able to cut it? When they discover that I am educated, able and viable they don’t really know what to say. They often say how nice it would be to be home. To relax. It’s sad but I think because what we do is behind closed doors people have no clue as to what we really do all day. There are no accolades, awards cerimonies or cash changing hands for moms at home and so no worth placed on our actions by the world around us. You can see how little child care is worth in the business world as it is. Babysitters get paid a few bucks an hour, day cares are often minimum wage, and school teachers are at the low end of the pay scale. We as a society don’t value child care. There are better things to do with our time and money. That said, I think stay at home moms secretly have the most wonderful form of appreciation possible, we’re helping form our kids, we get to see all the moments, the special ones, the painful ones, and we get to have their hugs and kisses all day long … even if it means we don’t get to wash our hair! In the end other peoples opinions are just a minor problem. There is no question that stay at home moms and working moms both have to give up something that is never fully appreciated in order to do what they do. I wish we would try to understand a little more.
Hi there, great post! I first thought “Wow, 6 years at home, that’s a long time!” Then I realised that it’s been almost 5.5 years for me & the last 2 I have been single! (Also started a home-biz as I get no support from the x) Time flies when you are having fun!
I must agree that there are rewards to this job and they happen for me every day. When my daughter (5 years old in Kindergarten) says she “wants to be a designer and work at home, just like my Mom!” when she grows up, my heart melts.
Keep the good stuff coming!
I am a full time working mother and trust me… I’d love to be at home with my 5 month old daughter all the time… but I can’t be… I have to work to provide for her. Sure… it’s stressful… but what’s more stressful to me is that moms every where seem to be feuding and arguing about who’s making the better choice… and it’s infuriating! Every child is different! Some children may thrive in an environment where they have to do things on their own! My point is… that there is no right or wrong answer to what’s better. It’s an individual choice, and I personally am sick of this feud. How will children learn to be happy with the decisions they make, and learn to accept opinions of others if their parents are feuding with others over a personal decision?
Oh… and as for understanding… My mother was a stay at home mom… and my sister in law is a working mother… so I have seen both sides of the “track”… but I am lucky… that my former stay at home mom… is now a stay at home grandma… for that I am grateful… but honestly… this feud needs to stop… it’s not helping anybody become better people… if anything it’s making others bitter!