Lend me your parenting manual
Boy, this parenting gig is hard work, hard with a capital H folks! Even with three pregnancies, and three childbirths, they don’t even come close to the day-to-day parenting challenges. Now that our Tyler is in the first grade, every day is something different.
The other day, Tyler mentioned that while waiting for the school bus home, a few boys were laughing at him. I asked him what gave him the idea that they were laughing at him. He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t know. I pressed on and he told me that the boys had on Halloween teeth and they were laughing. I explained to Tyler that they were probably just showing off their funny teeth. And then he agreed. But just the thought that someone might be laughing or poking fun of my son just gives me a little pain on my left side, that would be my heart.
There was this one time where Tyler brought a stack of about 20 Pokemon cards to show his friends at school, and he came home with two. I asked him where the rest was and he replied that he traded his for the two that he brought home. Boy, talk about being taking advantage of and not knowing it. I asked him “do you think it’s fair that Joseph gave you 2 cards of his own and he has 20 of your cards?” And knowing a little bit of math, he agreed that 2 is less than 20. So, I explained to him that when he plays with his friends, it’s a good idea to be fair with everyone and that his friends should be fair with him too. If not, that is not a good friend.
I’m not one to use self-help books for anything. I’d prefer listening and getting advices from real experience from real people, I’m not saying that these self-help books are not based on real life experiences, but I don’t want to spend unnescessary hard-earned money on things I can get for free, like from you my gentle readers.
I also found that there are children’s books at your local library with great stories with strong messages for life lessons. For instance, we read The Robobots by Matt Novak recently and Tyler was able to recap in his own words “it’s not nice to judge people before you get to know them”.
For lack of trying, we read Here Comes The Strikeout! by Leonard Kessler. And any time Tyler would be frustrated and giving up before trying, I would recite “lucky helmets won’t do it. Lucky bats won’t do it…” and Tyler would finish the quote with “only hard work will do!” (page 63) And he would grin broadly and snapped out of his slump…this time.
Heck folks, you’re probably thinking that I’m nuts or something going around the house reciting and quoting children’s books, but hey…I’ll take what I can for now. In a few more years, the kids will be smart enough to put on earplugs (I never did that to you Mom, honest!) so they don’t have to hear me blah blah blah.
How about you gentle readers? How do you combat these parenting “hiccups”? Anything that you’ve done with your own children that you can dispense for this rookie (as long as they are in my care, I’ll always be a rookie) Mom of three? Greatly appreciated folks!
Boy, this parenting gig is hard work, hard with a capital H folks! Even with three pregnancies, and three childbirths, they don’t even come close to the day-to-day parenting challenges. Now that our Tyler is in the first grade, every day is something different.
The other day, Tyler mentioned that while waiting for the school bus home, a few boys were laughing at him. I asked him what gave him the idea that they were laughing at him. He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t know. I pressed on and he told me that the boys had on Halloween teeth and they were laughing. I explained to Tyler that they were probably just showing off their funny teeth. And then he agreed. But just the thought that someone might be laughing or poking fun of my son just gives me a little pain on my left side, that would be my heart.
There was this one time where Tyler brought a stack of about 20 Pokemon cards to show his friends at school, and he came home with two. I asked him where the rest was and he replied that he traded his for the two that he brought home. Boy, talk about being taking advantage of and not knowing it. I asked him “do you think it’s fair that Joseph gave you 2 cards of his own and he has 20 of your cards?” And knowing a little bit of math, he agreed that 2 is less than 20. So, I explained to him that when he plays with his friends, it’s a good idea to be fair with everyone and that his friends should be fair with him too. If not, that is not a good friend.
I’m not one to use self-help books for anything. I’d prefer listening and getting advices from real experience from real people, I’m not saying that these self-help books are not based on real life experiences, but I don’t want to spend unnescessary hard-earned money on things I can get for free, like from you my gentle readers.
I also found that there are children’s books at your local library with great stories with strong messages for life lessons. For instance, we read The Robobots by Matt Novak recently and Tyler was able to recap in his own words “it’s not nice to judge people before you get to know them”.
For lack of trying, we read Here Comes The Strikeout! by Leonard Kessler. And any time Tyler would be frustrated and giving up before trying, I would recite “lucky helmets won’t do it. Lucky bats won’t do it…” and Tyler would finish the quote with “only hard work will do!” (page 63) And he would grin broadly and snapped out of his slump…this time.
Heck folks, you’re probably thinking that I’m nuts or something going around the house reciting and quoting children’s books, but hey…I’ll take what I can for now. In a few more years, the kids will be smart enough to put on earplugs (I never did that to you Mom, honest!) so they don’t have to hear me blah blah blah.
How about you gentle readers? How do you combat these parenting “hiccups”? Anything that you’ve done with your own children that you can dispense for this rookie (as long as they are in my care, I’ll always be a rookie) Mom of three? Greatly appreciated folks!
Wow! That is a problem. I’m not sure what I would do - off the top of my head, I would start quoting Chuck Norris movies and have him roundhouse kick those kids with 20 cards.
But that probably wouldn’t work. I’ll have to think about that some more…
This post makes me hurt. I know we can’t protect them forever but I wish we could.
Oh, my heart would ache, too! You have such nice kids, and it’s so easy for the not-so-nice ones to have a big impact.
I’ll think on the boook suggestions - nothing’s coming to mind. But one idea would be to have your kids all role play a situation that might happen, and then “act out” how you could respond. Do a freeze-frame kind of thing. So one kid acts mean. Then freeze. Everyone talk about what you could do in that situation. Then each kid act out how they would respond.
It seems to me that you’re saying the right things, so role playing just helps to set the message.
Good luck!
Common Sense.
I know it is not taught much in school or addressed in books but imps will know if it feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. I just stress to my imps that they know the difference and that it might not always be as much fun or as easy but doing the ‘right’ things will make them feel better about themselves/life…etc…
Common Sense. If nothing else it is also a great read from our revolutionary war days…
Man, that is hard part of parenting, isn’t it? We’re just encountering this with Nate, who just started pre-school. Last week some kid pushed him & sat on him, apparently for no reason as my mom watched the whole thing happen. This kid was pissed off that his parents dropped him off & left him at pre-school & took it out on my son. I totally know what you mean. As a parent you want to shelter your kids from this kind of stuff & protect them but can we? Will they get life lessons from us doing that? no they won’t, but they will be home safe with us in our arms, lol.
I wish I could give your some stellar advice, but I’m just limping along myself as it is.
I, for one, think reading and quoting books is a fantabulous idea. Just think, you’re getting great quality time reading the book together, you have a way of reminding your child of important life lessons without reciting speech #12,042, and you also have that little special bond that most other people wouldn’t know about, kind of like what an inside joke between two friends would be.
Sounds like a good plan to me!
I hurt for my daughter any time someone tries to take advantage of her or hurts her feelings. I wish I could protect her 24/6 but I know she needs to be able to rely on herself, too.
“BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRPPP” - What? How am I handling what?
I think my heart will break the first time I hear of my kids being teased. But I cry over everything. I guess that’s how I deal.
It sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job already, Betty. I’m with Tonya — read and quote those BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS. AND MORE BOOKS.
On the other hand, I’m always looking for those lightbulb moments when I can see that my kids have figured out how to solve something for themselves. I think the best gift we can give our kids is self-reliance. That being said, it’s so HARD to stand back and watch your kid hurt or suffering. You’re right. Hard with a capital H!
Grace (my middleschooler) goes through “everyone hates me” phases every night at 8:30. This probably isn’t anything like what you’re describing but with her I’ve just come to realize that she breaks down after 7pm when she’s tired. When she gets all emotional like that I just give her a hug and send her to bed and then it’s usually better in the morning. But it took me a while to figure this high-tech strategy out.
Right now since my lil tornado is still too young to comprehend much, I just tell him “what you did was bad!” and he understands that mommy is not happy with what he just did (spilling water, milk, throwing things, or slapping mommy as an act of love) and he would immediately hug me by laying his head on my shoulders and kissing me. I make sure to tell him that it’s what he did that was bad and not him. I also clapped real hard whenever he does something good to affirm it. I look like a fool but I don’t care. What’s important is that my son gets to know that there are right and wrong things as early as now.
Well, I certainly feel for you. I’ve got two of my own, 3yrs and 19months, both boys. This weekend we’ve got the cousings over ’til Saturday… twin boys aged 8. They were dropped off at my work yesterday (Thurs), and by the time my wife go home, I was on the bottom of the dog pile and fading quick.
After only a few short (did I say short?) hours with them by myself, I found myself thanking God I only have two!!
Mom’s there by herself with all four today while I’m at work, I haven’t called yet to see how (or if) she’s surviving. I exptec there’ll be lots of stuff for a lengthy post after this weekend on my blog.