Love me some pick-up lines
(For those of you not familiar with the skunk above, his name is Pepé Le Pew. This French skunk is always on the prowl looking for “l’amour”. His aggressive and intrusive seduction style always turn off his conquests, not to mention his foul odor that would turn off any possible love interests. With that said, he fits right in with this post.)
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My oldest sister commutes via the train/bus to work daily. It’s so much more convenient, less expensive and less of a headache dealing with bumper-to-bumper traffic when you live in a busy cosmopolitan city.
During her daily commute, she rubs elbows with all walks of life…literally, not that she wants to but when the train or bus is packed like sardines, there’s not much room to move any where. Imagine that on a hot summer day when there’s no A/C on some trains, there are people who think that personal hygiene is an option folks. Ewww!!
Her commute is never boring, every day she has a commuting story for me. Stories of the many “interesting” chaps who she has the pleasure of bumping into. She often said there must be a sign on her forehead that says “hit on me!” Granted she’s an attractive woman, all 4′11″ of her AND you’d never guessed she’s a mother of three kids ages 12, 8 and 7. I often told her it must be her “dreamy” eyes (she got this nickname from always having half-closed eyes or eye closed in pictures) and her mane of hair that would put a lion to shame.
I’ve collected the many pick-up lines from her and wanted to share them with you, aren’t you a lucky bunch?! I’m sure these are not exactly original but some of them are just pure hilarious!
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Last winter, my sister bought a comforter and was bringing it home on the train. As she was walking by this one dude, he yelled out to her “It’s cold out here, can I climb in the comforter with you?!” My sister did the double take to see if indeed someone just said that to her. She couldn’t help but giggled incredulously to the bold comment when she planted herself far far away from him. I do have to give him credits for his originality with that comment. We both laughed our heads off when she retold the incident.
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Here’s another one for your reading pleasure, what else would it be? You’re not planning to use these lines are you?
My sister buys a newspaper from this guy every single morning and every morning is the same line.
Newspaper guy: “How you doin’?” (all I can picture is this 40ish Italian dude with his tight zippered shirt opens revealing a chestful of hair and a fake gold chain sparkling from all that black hair. EWW!)
Sister: “Fine, how are you?”
NG: “Better now!” *wink wink while making that clicking sound and one finger up in a shape of a gun pointing at my sister* Alrighty then Mr. Guido.
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I’m sure you’ve met this type before. The ones who try to strike up a conversation thinking that they’re linguists or something.
Subway guy: “Are you Chinese? Ni Hau Ma?” (His version of “how are you” in Chinese)
Sister: “No.” (Ignoring him while reading her book)
SG: “How about Japanese? Konnichiwa.”
Sister: “No.” (This time trying to turn the other way and still trying to read her book.)
SG: “How about Vietnamese? Em dep” (He’s getting bolder, that means “you’re beautiful”.)
Thank goodness her stop was up and the next victim happens to be another Asian girl sitting in her place, as she left the train she could hear SG starting over with the same spiel with that new victim.
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I have more but I’m sure you get the point, there are some really cheesy guys out there. But I have to give them credit for their persistence and originality though. How about adding your own pick-up lines that someone has used on you or perhaps you’ve used on someone? I’m wondering if any of you men have ever had any women/men hit on you before? Please, do tell, I’m all ears!!
(For those of you not familiar with the skunk above, his name is Pepé Le Pew. This French skunk is always on the prowl looking for “l’amour”. His aggressive and intrusive seduction style always turn off his conquests, not to mention his foul odor that would turn off any possible love interests. With that said, he fits right in with this post.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My oldest sister commutes via the train/bus to work daily. It’s so much more convenient, less expensive and less of a headache dealing with bumper-to-bumper traffic when you live in a busy cosmopolitan city.
During her daily commute, she rubs elbows with all walks of life…literally, not that she wants to but when the train or bus is packed like sardines, there’s not much room to move any where. Imagine that on a hot summer day when there’s no A/C on some trains, there are people who think that personal hygiene is an option folks. Ewww!!
Her commute is never boring, every day she has a commuting story for me. Stories of the many “interesting” chaps who she has the pleasure of bumping into. She often said there must be a sign on her forehead that says “hit on me!” Granted she’s an attractive woman, all 4′11″ of her AND you’d never guessed she’s a mother of three kids ages 12, 8 and 7. I often told her it must be her “dreamy” eyes (she got this nickname from always having half-closed eyes or eye closed in pictures) and her mane of hair that would put a lion to shame.
I’ve collected the many pick-up lines from her and wanted to share them with you, aren’t you a lucky bunch?! I’m sure these are not exactly original but some of them are just pure hilarious!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last winter, my sister bought a comforter and was bringing it home on the train. As she was walking by this one dude, he yelled out to her “It’s cold out here, can I climb in the comforter with you?!” My sister did the double take to see if indeed someone just said that to her. She couldn’t help but giggled incredulously to the bold comment when she planted herself far far away from him. I do have to give him credits for his originality with that comment. We both laughed our heads off when she retold the incident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s another one for your reading pleasure, what else would it be? You’re not planning to use these lines are you?
My sister buys a newspaper from this guy every single morning and every morning is the same line.
Newspaper guy: “How you doin’?” (all I can picture is this 40ish Italian dude with his tight zippered shirt opens revealing a chestful of hair and a fake gold chain sparkling from all that black hair. EWW!)
Sister: “Fine, how are you?”
NG: “Better now!” *wink wink while making that clicking sound and one finger up in a shape of a gun pointing at my sister* Alrighty then Mr. Guido.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m sure you’ve met this type before. The ones who try to strike up a conversation thinking that they’re linguists or something.
Subway guy: “Are you Chinese? Ni Hau Ma?” (His version of “how are you” in Chinese)
Sister: “No.” (Ignoring him while reading her book)
SG: “How about Japanese? Konnichiwa.”
Sister: “No.” (This time trying to turn the other way and still trying to read her book.)
SG: “How about Vietnamese? Em dep” (He’s getting bolder, that means “you’re beautiful”.)
Thank goodness her stop was up and the next victim happens to be another Asian girl sitting in her place, as she left the train she could hear SG starting over with the same spiel with that new victim.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have more but I’m sure you get the point, there are some really cheesy guys out there. But I have to give them credit for their persistence and originality though. How about adding your own pick-up lines that someone has used on you or perhaps you’ve used on someone? I’m wondering if any of you men have ever had any women/men hit on you before? Please, do tell, I’m all ears!!
Dude. Nobody has laid a pickup line on me in EONS except for that weird dude at the CVS (I blogged about it last month).
I picked up my wife is Paris with “You talk Normal”. I’m not sure what I was thinking. And usually I was known as the charm master at the lines.
As for women picking up on me, the strangest was “You look like David Duchovny and I think he’s f’in HOT!”. In that moment, I was David Duchovny.
LOL! I havent been the recipient of a pickup line in a LONG time. I do remember a guy coming up to me one time and saying (while looking at my tatas) “Are those real?” I was like, WTF! Go away!
LOL! that’s funny. If you have more, lay ‘em on!
I always liked, “You got fries to go with that shake?” but I’m kind of crass like that.
Your poor sister. I don’t know how she deals with that, I’d go postal on someone’s ass.
My favorite was (as I was licking an ice cream cone) “I’d like some of that. Oh, and some of the ice cream, too.”
well my best was, “…so, when are you going to take me out to dinner and a movie?”
However the most unique was when I held up a giant box of Tampons and hollered, ‘Price Check on 2, please’
Yes, I was a cashier at Krogers. Yes, she was smokin’ hot! Yes, she asked me out before leaving the store!
Ooooh. That whole thing was too long ago to come up with any great ones.
I remember this rather large African American boy used to ask me daily in junior high “if I told you you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”
I always just laughed.
Ahahahha! That was just so funny …
Domo arigato, great post.
I swear NO ONE has ever used a pick-up line on me. I seriously don’t remember a SINGLE ONE!!
Tony~David Duchovny huh? Love him! Good for you.
Sweatpantsmom~Wow! That’s some serious line!
Dennis~You go my man! Getting picked up by a woman after that?! Now, was this your current wife?
Kelly~I’m with you sister, no one has ever used a line on me except for this lesbian. My hubbie and I were at this charity event and as we were leaving, this one lesbian came over and touch the front of my coat and said “I like your coat!” I had one too many brewskies to even noticed what she was doing and I was all like “THANKS!” Until my hubbie told me later that she was trying to “feel” me. I think he got a kick out of that image of girl on girl kind of thing. The perv!
No. The night we were supposed to have our ‘date’ my brother came in for a visit (on leave from the navy). He and she had more in common (being able to drink non-stop and remain upright seemed to be the critical factor).
I ended up leaving them at the bar(s) and calling it a night. I never could (and never really tried) to beat Jack and Jose. LOL
I think my brother ended up leaving her at the bar(s) as well…
My DH drives for Metro and he’s always coming home with GREAT (and sometimes not so great) transit stories. At first I didn’t believe him because they were just WAY out there.. Until I started working in the city (years ago) and saw the madness first hand!! YIKES!!
Some funny stuff!
Funny– love pick up lines. I once published all my husband’s stupid pick up lines in my Calentines’ column– my favorite was “let’s be like Candian geese and mate for life.”
These are all so funny! I don’t have any good ones to share. I met most guys dancing, so all they had to say was, “Would you like to dance?”
Can I toss your salad? (or something like that, was soooo very long ago!)
I thought your post was going to be about stinky people. I love Pepe Le Pew. It reminded me recently my brother left his back door open for this new dog he has to come in and out. Well, the dog got into a wrestle with a skunk. The smell is just barely leaving his apartment now, (a few weeks later…..)
It’s been so long since I’ve had a pick-up line, I’m not sure I would recognize one … but I *think* I may have received one last week while at Trader Joe’s. The check-out guy who was every bit of maybe 22 years old looked at me and said “did you just get your hair done?”.
Hmmm. Maybe not.