An open letter to Justin Timberlake
Dear Justin,
I don’t get it! Let me write that again, I.DON’T.GET.IT!!! How is it that a guy like you were able to date a Hollywood beauty and then dumped her for another one (I’m assuming you were the dumper and not the dumpee since you’ve already been reported with another babe)?
Yeah, I’m talking about your ex-girlfriend Cameron Diaz. And now you are linked to another beauty, Scarlett Johansson? What an upgrade from that train wreck skank Britney Spears, who will not win any “Mother of the Year” award any time soon, by the way, in my humble opinion.
Did I miss the memo somewhere? Is there something about you that these women find attractive that I’m just scratching my head wondering why? Is it your looks, your charm, your six-pack abs, or your awesome singing voice? Nope, I’m sure I didn’t miss any.
So, how do you do it? Did you drug them? Did you use some voodoo magic on them? Maybe you have “the big package” like Tommy Lee (if you’ve been living in a cave somewhere the past few years when this was like news, then you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about then) or you’re a good conversationalist. Otherwise, I still don’t get how you’re able to “lure” these beautiful babes to be with you.
And that song that’s been playing like 2050 times a day on the radio while I schlep my three children to places, you know “Sexy Back”. I do admit that it has a good beat and everything but I still don’t understand how people can say that you are a good singer and all. I mean, your voice has been “techno-altered” (I think that’s the term) and I can’t even decipher which is your actual voice.
Although I have to admit that you do have some killer dance moves, but still a good singer…you are not. And the lyrics, I’m cringing at the thought of my six year old son asking me what “sexy” means one of these days.
Maybe I’m not in my 20’s and I can’t see the sexiness that you exude. But then again, when I was in my 20’s, the men that I found sexy were Johny Depp, or Rob Lowe, or that guy from the band a-ha (so what if he was a one-hit wonder!).
Well, I wish you luck with your life, your pseudo singing career, and your women. It must be that bad boy image that women love. Well at least that’s what I’m assuming because I still don’t get it. And I just hope that my little girl won’t see that “bad boy image” as attractive when she grows up. Oh lord help me!
Sincerely not your #1 fan,
Waya
Dear Justin,
I don’t get it! Let me write that again, I.DON’T.GET.IT!!! How is it that a guy like you were able to date a Hollywood beauty and then dumped her for another one (I’m assuming you were the dumper and not the dumpee since you’ve already been reported with another babe)?
Yeah, I’m talking about your ex-girlfriend Cameron Diaz. And now you are linked to another beauty, Scarlett Johansson? What an upgrade from that train wreck skank Britney Spears, who will not win any “Mother of the Year” award any time soon, by the way, in my humble opinion.
Did I miss the memo somewhere? Is there something about you that these women find attractive that I’m just scratching my head wondering why? Is it your looks, your charm, your six-pack abs, or your awesome singing voice? Nope, I’m sure I didn’t miss any.
So, how do you do it? Did you drug them? Did you use some voodoo magic on them? Maybe you have “the big package” like Tommy Lee (if you’ve been living in a cave somewhere the past few years when this was like news, then you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about then) or you’re a good conversationalist. Otherwise, I still don’t get how you’re able to “lure” these beautiful babes to be with you.
And that song that’s been playing like 2050 times a day on the radio while I schlep my three children to places, you know “Sexy Back”. I do admit that it has a good beat and everything but I still don’t understand how people can say that you are a good singer and all. I mean, your voice has been “techno-altered” (I think that’s the term) and I can’t even decipher which is your actual voice.
Although I have to admit that you do have some killer dance moves, but still a good singer…you are not. And the lyrics, I’m cringing at the thought of my six year old son asking me what “sexy” means one of these days.
Maybe I’m not in my 20’s and I can’t see the sexiness that you exude. But then again, when I was in my 20’s, the men that I found sexy were Johny Depp, or Rob Lowe, or that guy from the band a-ha (so what if he was a one-hit wonder!).
Well, I wish you luck with your life, your pseudo singing career, and your women. It must be that bad boy image that women love. Well at least that’s what I’m assuming because I still don’t get it. And I just hope that my little girl won’t see that “bad boy image” as attractive when she grows up. Oh lord help me!
Sincerely not your #1 fan,
Waya
(raising hand) I know! I know!
I know why these hot chicks like him- the same reason Tom Cruise is married to Katie.
A publicist hooks them up, you know to get seen in the cheesy check-out aisles trades.
And another note, JT looks like George Michael (1987)
Lol
I don’t know & I can’t tell you but I do find something about JT sexy. I know I wouldn’t kick him out of my bed, lol.
I don’t get the justin appeal AT ALL. Ew.
Must be his sense of humor. He really is a very funny guy, believe it or not. And no, I’m not a fan.
Kids these days!
*cough* he’s hot *cough*
But I am so with you on the Sexy Back Barf-a-thon. Can’t. Stand. It.
I found this letter really funny.
My brother likes to ask K (my 2 year old son) “Are you bringing sexy back?” K usually answers “no.”
I’m not crazy about Justin Timberlake, but I hope that Britney gets her act together soon. It’s getting too sad to watch.
I know this sounds mean, but I just don’t get Scarlet Johanssen. She’s got a strangely shaped face, overly fat lips and a funny nose. I wouldn’t say she’s ugly (not true) she just looks so average, like someone you’d see in line at the grocery store with plenty of average facial faults. I don’t see why people want to stare at her face on the screen–evidently Mr. Timberlake could elaborate on her appeal.
I used to like Justin. And now he has more angst. It’s all about that. The angst. Girls are just so drawn to it. They think their the ones who can turn him good again.
I am so glad that I do not have cable…
And am not subjected to seeing My.Timberlake’s escapades… But somehow I already knew about Scarlet and the Cameron thing… How is that Betty? I already ‘knew ‘ I find it amazing how Mr. Timberlake seeps into modern day culture like a fungus…
And yet,I do not know who won the Nobel Peace Prize… Something is pretty sad with my itty bitty mind…
I don’t know…I am still having trouble recognizing bands after Blondie, Heart, The Pretenders, The Who…ok, I do like the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies and Matchbox 20….
He’s with Jessica Biel now…
Although if he and Britney were to get back together and she could find some clothes that fit it might help HER image.
I’ve never been a big Timberlake or Spears fan. I heard that Cameron had been hanging out in Hawaii with Kelly Slater (pro surfer).
I never got the Justin thing until one of my gay male friends started obsessing over him. We would listen to his music, watch videos, compare pictures. And yes, I get it now.
And his voice is no where near perfect, but the kid is a musician of a high degree. He plays guitar and piano. He can sing about every kind of music known.
Justin’s pretty fly for a white guy.
I totally get what you’re saying. I don’t see the attraction at all. JT is so…plain.
We apparently have similar (and good!) taste as I used to love Rob Lowe, too, and I still love Johnny Depp!